Sunday, May 14, 2006

Well Met

Two weeks since buying my World Of Warcraft Trial Edition.. I figured I owed an update to the site.
I thought it best to interview my WoW character 'Zarres' to get the real-deal on what's been happening. Here's how it turned out:

S: Hi Zarres. Tell us a little about yourself?
Z: Well, my name is Zarres obviously, and I'm a Human Paladin for the Alliance here in Azeroth.

S: Tell us a bit more about yourself.. where you're from, what you've been up to recently..
Z: Sure. I'm kinda new around here, having arrived only a couple of weeks ago on a temporary working visa. I'm based in Elwynn Forest at the moment, helping out the Grand Alliance wherever I can, just doing my bit, y' know..

Have you travelled much since you arrived?
Z: Oh a bit.. I've obviously made my way to Stormwind a number of times - great city! Actually while I was there recently I caught the subway up North to Dun Morogh and had a wander around the city of Ironforge. Those Dwarf folk sure are nice. Although some of them seem to suffer from short man's syndrome if you're not careful with your words.. fiery bunch! But lovely all the same. Have also popped my head in to the Westfall district briefly, but it nearly got bitten off so I'll return in the future when I'm more prepared!

S: Speaking of which, what have you been working on in terms of your career succession planning and job competancy skills?
Z: Oh let me just say right now that the Alliance has an awesome job-skill strategy in place! All hail to the democratic society and blossoming economy. I recently gained a promotion to Level 10 (the one-on-one with my Team Leader, Marshall Dughan, was greatly appreciated - valuable feedback for me to take forward and work on my ever-growing KPI's) and I've settled upon Alchemy and Herbalism as my major subjects, with some secondary courses in there to keep me from getting in to too much trouble! *snort

What are they, the secondary competancies?
Z: Fishing, Cooking, and First Aid.

S: First Aid - nice. Are you on the OH&S commitee?
Z: Umm, no. I just figured it would round out my options for the future. But I love fishing! It really provides for a nice unwind inbetween my work tasks. Nothing like coming back from a long quest, stopping into the Lion's Pride Inn for a quick 'warm me up', then kicking off my armour and taking a gentle stroll down to Crystal Lake, parking it up on the jetty with some friends, and throwing in a line. Plus of course, the extra income from the food or potions I can make with my catch come in handy! Gotta 'Pimp My Armour' somehow, right?! *snort

S: Right. So, have you met many of the other races from the Eastern Kingdoms?
Z: Well like I said earlier, I've met any number of Dwarves since my visit to Ironforge, and I come across the odd Gnome from time to time on my travels (tough little blighters aren't they!?), (Ed: Zarres rubs his shins) but I haven't really had the opportunity to hang with many Night Elves just as yet. I really want to though - they seem like a really together race with great respect for nature and her resources. They appear to be very connected with the earth somehow.. well from what little I've seen and heard anyway.
But that's about it - I'm looking forward to exploring more of Azeroth as my job responsibilities expand, as well as the other Lordaeron and Khaz Modan areas of our Eastern Kingdom. I havent made the trip over the ditch yet obviously, to see our fine friends The Horde over on Kalimdor..

Well, funny you should mention Elves, Zarres. We've just had some late breaking news footage come to hand about a new race of Elves arriving to our shores later this year.
Z: Oh! Really? Wow.. I'm only just getting my head around they way things are right now - crikey!

I'm sure you are Zarres, however as you know, the Eastern Kingdoms welcome those whom are friendly from all races and creeds, no less the Blood Elves.
Z: Blood Elves? Sounds nasty?

No, no.. not at all. They're as 'Alliance' as you or I, but a recent interview from the E3 Games Convention has sparked a bit of controversy around their sexuality.

Sexuality? Pardon?
S: Exactly - take a look for yourself..

Z: Okay that guy needs to be lobotomised.

So you're saying you don't agree with his comments?
Z: Absolutely not - he's obviously a southern yokel-type.. you know, 'park my truck under a shade tree' hayseed type. I bet he's from the Stranglethorn Vale region. Homophobic twat.
I mean, hello!! Just cos the Elves wear robes and have long hair doesn't mean they're all GAY?? Good god man - get in touch with the now! I bet you arrive home expecting a meal on the table and wifey scrubbing the floors!! This is the 25th period.. we're not in -2900 anymore Toto! I mean the Night Elves were here way back in -10000; we wouldn't have a place to call home if it weren't for them.
And let's face it, none of us white-bred-white-collar-types can dance, nor feel totally comfortable doing so, at the best of times. Seeing a proverbial Johan TreeVoltar in action must simply make his blood boil with jealousy in terms of being able to pull the ladies. The guy needs to open his eyes. Heck, I'll take him on a freakin' quest with me if he wants to prove his 'masculinity' to the world! Let's see him not pee himself when confronted with the sight of a towering Harvest Golem before him!

So, does anyone else 'push your buttons' like this guy?
Z: Well, there's sambo_nz of course. I mean, he has to push buttons or I wouldn't be going anywhere, would I! *snort *snigger

Speaking of sambo_nz, I hear he's decided to fund your stay here?
Z: Oh - yes! He's sponsered a full working permit for me. I owe him a great deal of thanks. He took my original 14-day visa and converted it into a more permanent arrangement. I understand he's still got me on a month-to-month contract but hey, I figure as long as I'm putting in the hours and doing my best to contribute towards the success of The Alliance, then I'm secure in my job.

And how do you feel about being the one doing all the work, 'bringing home the bacon' so to speak, yet sambo_nz is the one that gets to do all the clothes shopping?
Z: Well, yeh there is that. Look, at the end of the day, he's gonna want to make sure I'm fully armoured-up and looking hot at all times yeh? I figure it's a minor sacrifice to make in return for the experience I'm adding to my CV by being here. To be honest, I'm actually kinda upset that I'll never get to wear robes like the Night Elves (just to piss of Mr.Bojangles from that interview!*chortle *snort) but that's hardly sambo_nz's fault, given that those lines or labels simply aren't made available to us Humans.
Actually, I must speak with sambo_nz about an idea I have for an affordable yet somewhat contemporary clothing outlet franchise for the Kingdom. Don't get me wrong, Stormwind is a shoppers paradise for those with 'mall syndrome' but not all of us subscribe to that shopping mentality. I mean, you've seen one, you've seen 'em all right?

But Stormwind is the pillar of the Alliance?
Z: Oh for sure but, you know, I read the tomes like anyone else, and I see the articles showing people from other worlds like Guild Wars and Everquest having much higher resolution texture options and a wider range to choose from - especially in terms of male fashion.
I'll give you an 'exclusive' early snippet to watch out for in the future if you like *snort .. I'm thinking of naming the franchise "Aay-Aay's".. you know; 'A' for Alliance 'n all!

Erm, good luck with the idea..
Z: Oh, look, it's just something I'm working on in the background.. I mean, I only have the bare skeleton of a Business Case drafted at this stage and hey, what else am I to do during the long periods between sambo_nz logging out? A guy's gotta keep himself amused somehow - might as well use the time to my advantage yeh? And I mean there's only so much I can listen to from Innkeeper Farley or William Pestle's tales of the 'good old days'..

Actually I see you're currently sporting a very nice pelt cloak at the moment..?
Z: Indeed - you like?
S: Very much.
Z: Thanks. Actually this was made as a gift for me by a good Dwarven friend of mine named Gimlee. Very generous of him, and it doesn't just have 'the look' - it significantly increased my Armour Rating as well - form with functionality!

Very nice. Well, thanks for taking the time to stop by and be interviewed Zarres - we'll certainly be back again to check up on your future experiences.. I hope you'll have us?
Z: Absolutely! Feel free to hunt me down (pardon the pun! *snort *snort) anytime. Add me to your Friends List and I'll only ever be a click away.
Can I also give a shoutout to my good friends Nency (Human Mage) and Gimlee (Dwarf Hunter) who came to my assistance as soon as I arrived here, and of course to the beautiful new woman in my life, Acacia (Human Mage), who teases me with her golden locks and infrequent appearances in Goldshire.. If she's reading this, I want her to know I've made some potions for her, and stashed away some useful items for her in the bank..

I'm sure she'll be very grateful. ..
Z: ..and can I just also say that I think the sun shines off her hair in ways that only a perfect form could allow..
S: Yes, sure Zarres. Thank you for..
Z: ..AND if she's reading this I'm hanging around at the Lion's Pride if she'd like to catch up for a drink or..
S: ..Thank you Zarres;

S: 'Well Met'.
Z: *cough 'Light Be With You'.

And in other news:
Those of you with a gaming affliction will know all too well that the week just gone played host to the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) in LA.
As always, a very exciting time for us gamers, and this year was no different with (imho) Microsoft stealing the show by a country mile. Many fantastic innovations coming from the green Xbox 360 stables; so many in fact that Sony were well and truly bruised, left only to limp away from the show licking their wounds.
I literally filled my Xbox 360 HDD with downloadable content (demos and trailers) and the future looks rosey, with some awesome titles, accessories, and functionality headed our way soon.

Notable at the show was an appearance by Paris Hilton, there to promote her new mobile game 'Jewel Jam'. Except that she got the name wrong:
"Sorry I'm late," the heiress said."I'm really excited to have my new video game, Diamondquest. Thank you all for coming, and you can download the game." Right.

Also interesting, from the show, was Blizzard's World Of Warcraft booth. Note what platform the company prefer to have their game played on...? *grin
Hell, even the Logitech X-530 speaker system is the same is mine. I have their exact setup here at home. Aren't I clever.

And finally, an interesting stumbling: New Zealand not for sale: eBay tells the story of an Australian man putting NZ up for auction on eBay. Before they managed to pull it down, somone bidded a paltry $3000 for my home country!!

Now I feel extremely small and worthless. I think I'll just have to log in to WoW (being my new home and all) to make myself feel better..
..and to dance as if nobody's watching.


At 6:54 pm, May 15, 2006, Anonymous Acacia said...

Hi Sambo,


Here I was sitting in the inn, surfing the internet while I recovered from being left out in the cold as a corpse (how neglectful!!!) when I was sent a link to your blog.

Well at first i just thought Zarres was a big show-off .. you know the sort, prancing around and trying to impress... tight pants, big codpiece... a certain glint in the eye... very handsome but a little full of himself!!... and a bit immature (erm... need I mention the farting!!) But then as I got to know him a little, and he showed me around, he really looked after me and i started to see a different side... The way he handled those Kobolds was certainly very impressive... and he does know how to cook.. not scared of using a herb or two either!

Hmm i'm kind of busy, what with starting out in a new city and all, there's so much to do and learn... this world is amazing.. and so big!! But I think it might be very useful to have a strong sweet guy around to help out... Plus it sounds like he has presents! (No girl can resist a mystery present or two. Could it be a new pair of boots? A female mage can never have enough shoes)

I think I'll take him up on that drink after all.... tell him that I'll be along to check out new towns, practise some moves, and slaughter some kobolds with him very soon... :)



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