Monday, July 11, 2005

Sin City

Indeed it is.
Okay - so I may well be the only schmuck who simply doesn't "get it", but they say ignorance is bliss.
Bored. Yep.
And - borING.

Anything 'Tarantino' seems to make me feel the same way - splatter and shock (i use the word lightly) tactics didn't even come off due to a general numbing of the senses and as it slowly singed any neuronic activity under my skullcap (which I retained, unlike 99.9% of the characters in the film who seemed to lose theirs...)

Granted, we only made it through the 1st third of the set, however the motivation to view the other two seeped into the gutters of the city along with all colour bar red; blood red of course. (Yeh, post-modern-tech-noir.. *yawn)

The look on 'stumpys' face as his flesh was devoured by his pet wolf was empathised by us in whole. If we'd looked in the mirror after this 35 mins of cinematic wank, we woulda seen the same expression.

Bloodbath At The House Of Death was a stompier romp.

Fantabulous Four

Yeh well what to expect?
X-men ish / Spiderman ish / everyotherfilmatthemoment ish

When Batman Begins is sold out, and the choice is between F4 and Bewitched, it's both an easy yet difficult-to-swallow choice.
Watching Nicole Kidman emulate her droll moronity on celluloid is tantamount to dipping my nuts in a pot of Deep Heat. Even the draw of Will Ferrel doesn't outwardly make up for any perceived shortcomings, so it's of to Festacular Four we go!

Isn't it funny how screenwriters of today attempt to inject 'contemporary themes/humour' into dried out characters in order to socially resuscitate them. Do these individuals truly think we're all freakin' morons?
I guess after all is said and done, I'd be an admitted moron myself if I honestly expected anything more than a fantasmical journey into excuses for CGI FX and trite attempts at fashionable witticisms.

Oh and of course a happy ending.

But honestly - Julian McMahon as a metal maniac? Puuuurlease! I was embarrassed for him, let alone cowering in my seat at his line-reading. I'd have hidden behind a mask too..

Sadly, not Charmed at all.