Whos 'self' exactly?

I have three acquaintances that I see regularly throughout the week who, right now (bizarrely), are all going through some emotional pain.

And all three have the same common root cause:
Not one of them has any sense of 'self'.

All three flail around in life's ocean, desperately waiting for a burly lifeguard to arrive at their rescue. It's as black and white to me as Greenpeace is to the Exxon-Valdez.

But not to them, it's not.

I often wonder why I even let considerations for their predicament wander through my brain as, to be honest, I would rather expend that mental energy upon myself (being selfish, as I am). But quite obviously I somehow 'care' enough to bother thinking about it and, sometimes, enough to provide my opinions to them when requested.


It's hard sometimes. You know what it's like.. to venture out of the paddock and see that in fact there's simply another one next door, and not the swirling pit of despair that our parents, colleagues and popular culture have taught us to believe is there.

And then to run back to the original paddock and try to explain to all the non-believers: "Hey! it's just like I thought - there's another green paddock right next door with even more grass than this one - and a shelter too!"

There is no way in hell they can even begin to comprehend the picture of lush farmlands where a tumultuous whirlpool of lava should be..

..unless they are willing to take a step outside of their comfort zone and habits.

Of course this not only involves trusting the tall poppy that's running towards them with arms flapping, but it also involves them trusting in themselves, and being willing to take a step that could result in a confrontation of their former paradigm AND having the energy and commitment not to only make it half way before giving up and turning back to the creature comforts of the known (safer) quantity.

Perhaps I'm beginning to get frustrated with all of these half-ass efforts, and am being forced to evaluate the energy I put in vs the willingness of those I invest into. I don't know. There's only so much a 3rd party can do - the inertia has to come from within themselves - there has to be a desire to change things from the way they are, that outmatches their instincts to return to their home paddock.

When does one give up making this investment for little to no return or effect, if one has tried many, many times?
Is there a point whereby someone such as myself says 'enough is enough', when constantly standing headfirst into a wind tunnel of defying logic?

We'll see, I guess.